deep in my heart

This is the rhythm of the memories between us
Whenever I hear it, it reminds me of our good old days
No matter how long the time has passed but our song is still deep in my heart.

What is the love song you had ever sung? On your lonely days, which song did you think of?
Since we've been apart, how are you today? I want to know.

Clocks are never lazy to run
Time makes everything change
But all my good memories are still kept in my mind.

I still have only you that have never changed
I have only you that have never changed
The more I feel lonely, the more my heart calls for you.

Our same old song is still in my mind
Whenever I hear it, I still get the same old feeling.
No matter how long the time has passed, but this song is still in my heart.

The day I couldn't reach my dreams,
I lost my way and drifted through life.
But at least I was still glad, that I had ever had you.

Clocks are never lazy to run
Time makes everything change
But all my good memories are still kept in my mind.

I still have only you that have never changed
I have only you that have never changed
The more I feel lonely, the more my heart calls for you.

Our same old song is still in my mind
Whenever I hear it, I still get the same old feeling.
No matter how long the time has passed, but this song is still in my heart.

No matter how long we have never gotten together
This song is still deep in my heart.

*ost suckseed deep in my heart - english translation 

someday

don't know how long is it that i have to resist everything
hide all of the truth in my heart
every time we meet, everytime you turn to me that i pretend to be still

do you know how much i have to force myself?
can you hear that?
my heart...
is telling you i love you
but i can not reveal my true feeling to anyone

can you hear that?
but i had to release it cause others would curious
is waiting there for you to open
can only hope you will know it

though i love you
though i feel it
but deep inside isn't brave enough
every time we meet
every time you turn to me
that i pretend to be still

can you hear that?
my heart...
is telling you i love you
but i can not reveal my true feeling to anyone
can you hear that?
my heart is waiting for you to open
can only hope you will know it

*ost crazy little thing called love

you're still the one

When I first saw you, I saw love
And the first time you touched me, I felt love
And after all this time, you're still the one I love

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
You're still the one

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

big girls don't cry

The smell of your skin lingers on me now

You're probably on your flight back to your home town

I need some shelter of my own protection, baby

To be with myself and center

Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

The path that I'm walkin', I must go alone

I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown

Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/f/fergie-lyrics/big-girls-don_t-cry-lyrics.html ]

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard

We'll play jacks and Uno cards

I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine

Valentine

Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to

'Cause I want to hold yours too

We'll be playmates and lovers

And share our secret worlds

But it's time for me to go home

It's getting late, dark outside

I need to be with myself, and center

Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

tujuh tahun lagi

hari ini panas, sama saja seperti hari yang lainnya. tapi ada yang terasa berbeda, panas yang beda, lebih panas dari sengatan matahari di pukul 1 siang. huuh, pantas saja. dia, tepat diujung sana bersama seseorang. senyumnya bahagia sekali, jauh lebih bahagia dari yang pernah aku lihat.
aku duduk di depan masjid, memandang jauh ke ujung lapangan. sendirian.
seminggu yang lalu, saat aku masih bersamanya, itu tempat duduk ku. itu tempat ku bercanda bersamanya. siapa sih perempuan yang sedang duduk disana? panas.
padahal baru saja seminggu yang lalu. tujuh hari yang lalu, saat dia mengatakan dia menyayangiku untuk yang terakhir kalinya. hahaha, aku terlalu bodoh untuk mempercayai kata katanya.
dulu, kukira dengan berakhirnya hubungan ini, dia akan berubah. ternyata sama saja.
playboy.
bodoh sekali diriku ini. apasih lebihnya playboy seperti dia.
jika aku mau, dalam sedetik pun aku bisa mendapatkan semua yang kuinginkan.
bodoh  bodoh bodoh bodoh bodoh.

panasnya terasa semakin panas. mataharinya semakin menyengat, candaan mereka pun semakin terlihat.
hah, bodoh sekali aku merasa panas seperti ini melihatnya disana.
teman teman ku sedang berjalan menghampiri ku, aku akan menulis nanti lagi.

***

teman teman ku baru saja pergi, mereka mengajak ku ke kelas.. tapi aku masih butuh waktu untuk menulis... emm lebih tepatnya melihat dirinya sambil menulis.
teman ku tau apa yang sedang ku lihat. mereka memang tidak mengatakan aku bodoh, tapi aku cukup pintar untuk mengartikan kata kata 'kok mau sih?'
mereka bilang aku cantik, dan bisa mendapatkan apa yang aku inginkan.
tapi sepertinya kurasa hati ku yang tidak memanfaatkan kelebihan fisik ku...

eh, baru saja ku lihat dia memandang ke arah ku, tidak sengaja kami bertatapan.
ku rasa dia tidak memperdulikannya, aduh, aku deg degan.
oke, baik, aku abaikan saja dia sambil terus menulis.
aku tidak berani mengangkat kepala ku lagi, bagaimana ini?
aduh, tapi bagaimana juga aku mengetahui kalau dia menatap ku?
ah, pasti dia melihat orang lain, sudah jelas jarak kami berjauhan.
bodoh bodoh bodoh.

aku ingin t...................

***

haaaaah, aku tidak menyangka apa yang terjadi barusan.
kamu lihat? dia datang menghampiri ku, dia menghampiri ku, masih dengan senyumannya yang dulu.
terakhir kali kulihatnya tepat seminggu yang lalu.
baik, akan ku ceritakan mengapa tulisan ku terputus, lagi.
aku lupa mau menulis apa, tapi taukah saat aku menulis, tiba tiba tertutup bayangan.
aku menunduk menatap sepatu putih.
aku mengenalinya...
celana abu abu yang pernah ku jahit dibagian lutunya, aku sunggu mengenali celana itu...
baju putih yang dia kenakan, aku yang menempelkan name tag nya, aku yang menjahitnya...
senyumannyaa....
"hai"
aku merasa dunia terlihat lebih cerah, matahari bersiinar lebih lembut,
"hai..."
jantung ku berdegup kencang, kamu tau? aku berkali kali menarik nafas saat menuliskan ini.
aaaah, aku benar benar tidak percaya apa yang terjadi barusan.
dia duduk di sebelah ku.
"sedang apa?" dia menyapa ku...
"menulis." apakah aku tersenyum saat mengatakan itu?
oh Tuhan, aku takut dia melihat tulisan ku.
"sudah seminggu."
dia ingat, dia ingat sudah seminggu kita mengakhiri hubungan ini.
"melihatmu sendirian disini membuat ku mengingat saat saat pertama aku melihatmu."
"melihatmu disana, membuat ku mengingat kenangan saat aku dan dirimu duduk disana."
"kenapa kamu tidak duduk disana?"
"dari sini, aku bisa melihat seluruh sudut sekolah, aku bisa melihat semua hal, aku bisa menuliskan semua hal yang kulihat..." aku bisa melihatmu yang berada di ujung sana dari tempat ini 
aku tersenyum...
dia tersenyum...
dia menatap ku,
dia tersenyum pada ku,
"aku playboy ya?"
"hah? haha, kau sungguh aneh."
"iya, aku playboy, terlihat seperti apa yang kau lihat selama ini."
senyuman ku hilang....
aku menunduk...
percayakah dia mengatakan hal itu?
dia menyadari apa yang dia lakukan, dia sadar akan dirinya.
"satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima, enam, tujuh..." dia menghitung...
"tujuh tahun lagi kamu selesai kuliah, dan lima tahun lagi aku lulus kuliah."
apa maksudnya? bisa kah kau tebak?
"tunggu aku ya..."
dia tersenyum dan menatap ku...
"aku juga akan menunggu mu..."
apa yang harus aku katakan?
"aku akan menghubungimu jika aku membutuhkan mu, dan kamu juga akan menghubungi ku jika kau membutuhkan ku. lalu aku akan memberitahukan kepadamu kejadian penting yang ada di hidup ku, dan kamu juga akan memberitahu ku kejadian penting dalam hidupmu.. lalu aku akan bekerja keras, dan kau juga akan bekerja keras. aku, dan kamu, akan bersama tujuh tahun lagi. percayalah."
maaf, kertas ini basah, apa aku harus percaya dengan kalimat seorang playboy?
apa aku harus menunggu atau meninggalkannya?
apa yang harus aku lakukan?
setelah mengatakan itu, dia tersenyum tanpa memiinta pendapat ku, dia pun pergi.
ah.....
aku bingung...
aku menantikan tujuh tahun lagi...